The Holiday
by Scared Swan
Summary: Emma Swan's head over heels for the wrong guy. A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity gives her an out for Christmas. In LA she meets the charming Killian Jones and her life gets turned upside down. (Changed penname, was EuphoriaLily)
1. Prologue

**Okay, so I've been having this idea of a Once Upon a Time version of the Holiday. This is the prologue, and depending on the response, I might continue this. Let me know, okay? Love you guys!**

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_I have found almost everything ever written about love, to be true. Shakespeare said, 'Journeys end in lover's meeting.' Oh, what an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I'm more than willing to believe, Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I'm constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said 'Love is blind.'_

_Now that is something I know to be true._

_For some, quite inexplicably, love fades._

_For others, love is simply lost._

_But then of course, love can also be found. Even if just for the night._

_And then there's another kind of love. The cruellest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. It's called unrequited love. Of that, I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories? Those of us who fall in love alone._

Emma stopped writing for a moment to look over at the busy party going on outside of her office. Her heart was aching as she wrote this, but it had to be done. She had to deliver this article before midnight. But she hated writing about her own life. She hated doing this nonsense.

Why was she always stuck with the stupid articles?

_We are the victims of the one-sided affair, we are the cursed of the loved ones, we are the _un_loved ones, the walking wounded, the handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space._

Oh screw this, she was going out there and have some fun with Regina. This was a Christmas party, for Pete's sake! She saved the article so she could call it up later, and left her silent office for the deafening noise outside. She spotted him immediately, and her heart clenched.

_Yes, you are looking at one such individual. _Emma continued her article in her head, likes always when she wasn't quite done yet. Emma stared at him conversing with their colleagues, a glass of champagne in his hand, looking like he owned the fucking place, and sighed. Three horrible years, the worst Christmases, the worst birthdays, New Year's Eves brought in with tears and Valium.

Neal Cassidy had been the subject of her obsession for those three years, and she just _couldn't _get over him. She spotted Regina from across the room, and made her way over to her. "Hey – oh!" Emma grabbed the glass out of Regina's hand and gulped it down while his smile made her stomach ache. "Oh, _Neal._ I thought that was over? That _you_ were done!"

"It _is_ – I _am_!" Emma exclaimed, indignantly, but she bit her lip at the same time. Who was she kidding? _God, just the sight of him. Throat thickening, heart pounding, absolutely can't swallow_.

"What is the story with you two anyway? Weren't you sleeping with him?" Regina asked for the thousandth time. She couldn't get enough of hearing this, especially when she was drunk – which was now.

Emma rolled her eyes, but she didn't have anything else to talk about. "I was _in love_ with him, Regina. Then I found out he was fucking that tramp Tamara from upstairs – which is when I stopped sleeping with him, by the way." she added pointedly. If she wasn't careful, Regina and her evil tendencies would turn this into something even more scandalous, and she did not need then.

"But you two are always together, why in the world would you stay friends with him when he cheated on you?"

Emma sighed, feeling the familiar burn of tears behind her eyes, but she pushed them back. No showing any weaknesses on an office party. "I was head over heels, and the worst part is that everyone knew." Regina rubbed her arm, and she knew she was crying again. She was so done with the crying thing. She couldn't even remember the last time she didn't cry herself to sleep. "Does it look like I'm crying right now?" she whispered.

"No!" Regina said, looking over her shoulder. "It looks like it's the smoke from that goddamned cigarette. YO ROBIN HOOD!" Regina yelled at the man behind her. Emma couldn't stop a smile. "PUT THAT THING OUT, YOU'RE POISONING ALL OF US!"

Emma felt a warm presence behind her. "Apologies, milady." Robin said in that perfect accent of his. "I shall put it out immediately."

"Thank you, sir." Regina said, before a mischievous smile appeared on her lips. Regina and Robin – her and Emma's boss mind you – had been sleeping together for weeks now. Then she returned her attention to Emma. "Did he ever told you that he loved you back?"

"Three, _almost four _times! And when I reminded him of that, he said that it must've been as an answer to a question, which I can assure you, it was not!" Emma said.

Regina rubbed her eyes in exasperation, and Emma knew what was coming from miles away. "You know, miss Swan, when you catch your guy doing someone else, you're not supposed to stay friends with him. You're supposed to throw things at him, scream, call him names! Not clean his fucking house for him!"

Emma gasped. That was new, she hadn't heard that before. "What the – ? I don't clean his house, did someone tell you that?!" she whispered sharply. Regina blinked, another rumour burst for her. "No, all we do is...have lunch. When he's not with _her_, of course. And we talk on the phone, sometimes for _hours_." She heard herself talking and wanted to kick herself in the gut. What the hell was she doing with her life?

"You really are pathetic, you know that?" Regina said, her evil tone of voice coming through. She only used that on Emma when she wanted to convey a point loud and clear.

And convey it she did. "Oh God, I'm _so_ aware of it." Before she could say anything else, like _excuse herself and get the fuck out of here_, Robin tapped her on the shoulder.

"Emma, have you finished your article yet? I need it on my desk before midnight, you know that!"

She looked at her phone and freaked a little. "Oh shit. No, sorry, I just have to type out the final words. I'll mail it to you in a few minutes." Robin nodded, and Emma fled to her office, where she typed the final paragraph.

_We are the victims of the one-sided affair, we are the cursed of the loved ones, we are the _un_loved ones, the walking wounded, the handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space._

_We are forever alone._


	2. The Announcement

**Okay so I think I've had enough follows and favourites that I can upload this chapter. I don't think I'm going to upload again before I have a few chapters written out, so that I don't have to stress about uploading, seeing as my other stories need attending to as well. I hope you understand.**

**So here is chapter 1 of the Holiday. Emma-centered. I hope you enjoy!**

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**Chapter 1  
The Announcement**

Emma finished her story quickly, re-reading it for any mistakes or lines she hated. As usual, there were a bunch. Ugh, she had to completely rewrite the entire beginning. Groaning, she deleted the entire first paragraph and started to rewrite it.

"Do you ever stop working?" Against her will, she started grinning at the smooth voice behind her. She turned around, chuckling at his teasing face. God, he was still handsome. Blond hair, brown eyes, an ever-present smirk. "What's it like? Working while the rest of us is just...getting drunk?" Neal jerked his head to the main hall where everyone was singing along – quite off-key – to a Christmas song she hated like all other Christmas songs. Christmas songs equalled loneliness and loneliness equalled pain, and Emma didn't quite handle pain well.

"You mean, not finishing their work on time. Just a second, Neal, don't go." She turned back to her computer and quickly finished up, sending her story to the main office. Then she turned back around. The smile was still plastered on his face.

"Hey, Duckling." Neal said, looking down to his feet while biting his lip in that cute, shy way he always did.

"Hey." she smiled. "Oh! I saw your story this morning, it was brilliant! I loved that line, ehm..." She pressed her fingers to her forehead to call it up. "_Love is our purpose, and purpose is what created us, it's purpose that connects us, purpose that pulls us, that guides us, that drives us, it is purpose that defines us, purpose that binds us._ Wonderful writing."Even though she disagreed quite _strongly_ with the statement, she couldn't help but compliment him. It was pathetic, she knew that. But her mind kept going over and over the question whether he would take her back if she was kind enough, flirty enough, paid him enough compliments...Regina was right, she really was pathetic.

"Yeah, I know." Neal said, smiling and Emma beamed, at the same time that her head was scolding her. He wasn't _thanking her_, he was being a smug son of a bitch like always, and she shouldn't be happy. She shouldn't. But she was. "Oh, by the way, I bought you a Christmas present!"

Emma's entire face lit up. _Finally_. "Oh, that's a coincidence, I bought you one as well!" And she produced the neatly wrapped present from her desk. His face fell a bit, but he produced a grin the next moment.

"Oh darling, I don't actually have my gift with me. I imagine it's somewhere in my car, do you want to know what it is?"

Of course. Of freaking course. He hadn't bought her a gift at all. Why had she even hoped that he would? Why had he even brought it up? Her face fell a bit, but she recovered enough to smile. "No, no, that's alright." She handed him her present, which he somehow still deserved. "I didn't actually think we'd get to do this this year. Remember last Christmas, we exchanged gifts in March! This is good. We're making progress."

He smiled at her, and then began unwrapping his gift with greedy eyes. He gasped when he saw what he was holding. "You stinker." Emma giggled. He was holding the original Beauty and the Beast story. He gasped even more. "It's a first edition! However did you get it?"

"It was buried in that little place we found in Covent Garden that time."

He sighed, clutching the book to his chest as he looked at her with grateful eyes. She lived for that look sometimes. "Why are you so great?"

Honestly, she wasn't great. She was fucked up, she was scarred. But he always seemed to see the best in her, just when she needed to hear it. And as always, his compliments, however rare, brought a immensely stupid smile on her face, as if she were some infatuated teenager. Just then Robin called for attention outside, and their conversation was regrettably cut short.

He looked at her with that searing, intense look he had sometimes and smiled. "I hate it that we can never talk."

She shouldn't hate it. She should be happy that their talking time together was getting lesser and lesser by the day. Yet she replied, "Hate it."

What if this conversation had lasted a bit longer? Would he maybe have kissed her? There was no use in pondering over that. Smiling, she followed him outside, and moved forward a bit in the crowd as Robin made his speech.

"Well, first of all, a very happy Christmas to you all – " The crowd chimed 'Happy Christmas' back to him and he smiled that roguish smile that Regina always swooned over. " – now we aren't officially closed for the holiday, as you very well know – " A few people groaned, and Robin lifted his glass in recognition of the brave few that would stay for Christmas. " – but we are trying to get by with a smaller than usual staff. However, before you all rush off on your holidays, I have one rather important announcement to make. Seeing as our subject of the month is 'Holiday love', this will give all of you a good inspiration boost for your next stories." He took a swig of his champagne, his eyes locking with Regina's for just a second before continuing on with his story. Emma looked over her shoulder, expecting to find Neal behind her, but he was gone. Her heart dropped. He never stayed with her to chat. Always had to talk to others as well. "A wedding was privately announced earlier today, and I hope you all are inspired to write about it for it is between two of our most esteemed colleagues; Tamara Wilson and Neal Cassidy!"

Emma's heart broke again. Neal was engaged? And he didn't tell her? How _could_ he? Tears threatened in her eyes as all sound around her faded to a dull hum. She saw Neal standing up there with his arm around the brownhaired woman who was beaming and showing off her – enormous – engagement ring. She had to go home, now. She couldn't break down, not here, not where Neal could see her. If anything, she didn't want him to know the effect he had on her. How he was still holding her heart and crushing it with each passing day. His eyes crossed hers, and she smiled encouragingly, pretending she was happy for him. In reality, she was dying.

Gasping for breath to steel herself, she pushed her way through the crowd, grabbing her red coat, her gray beanie and her woollen scarf, while she packed herself in for the cold winter weather outside. She couldn't stay here a minute longer. She was going home and loose herself in chocolate and crying. Without saying goodbye to anyone, she left the office and headed straight for the train station.

She managed to keep herself together throughout the entire train ride and the walk to her little cottage in the country, all the while breaking her head over why he wouldn't tell her, why he would marry that tramp in the first place. She opened her front door with a blank look on her face, and it wasn't until she'd locked it behind her nice and tight and she was greeted by her little dog, the only thing that could console her a bit, that she lost it.

Emma Swan cried her eyes out.

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**Reviews feed my muse. Please don't let her starve?**


	3. Decision

**YAY I'm writing again! Finally. The idea was that I would finish the story before then posting the story, but I was met with an amazing lack of energy to write, and I figured, my writer's block shouldn't cheat you out of the next chapter.**

**Introducing, the second chapter of The Holiday! Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 2  
Decision**

"I can't believe this is happening." Ruby muttered, picking up the tennis racket of the jackass sleeping on the couch downstairs and throwing it down on the bed. "This is going to end right now. I'm done, I'm so done."

"_Ruby!_" She heard Peter coming up the stairs, and she grabbed one of his trainers. The door opened and with a frustrated yell, she hurled it at his head. Sadly, he ducked away just in time with a scared yell. Ruby put her hands on her hips and looked at him with stormy eyes. He held up his hands in defeat and said, "Okay, can I just say _again_ that I did not sleep with her!"

Ruby rolled her eyes and literally growled at him, her eyes blazing. "Oh right, because your receptionist _needs_ to work till three in the morning!" She began gathering up his stuff again, throwing it all on the bed with angry huffs. This was long overdue. She had taken too long to realize that this relationship would never work out.

"A bunch of us were working late, she wanted to hang out." Peter explained in his patronizing voice, as if _she_ was the fault in this case.

"Oh really?" She whirled around at lightning speed, her expression making him stagger back a bit. She knew she was scary when she got angry, she couldn't really help it. 'Wolf girl', people used to call her. Still do actually. "Then swear on my life that you did not sleep with her." He shot her a 'really?' look, but didn't say anything. "Come on, if you did not sleep with her, you've got nothing to lose here." Well, except for this relationship but that was beside the point.

"I'm not going to..."

"Oh, that's _it_!" Ruby threw the other shoe at his head and continued throwing his things on the bed. "Your receptionist, Peter? You know, this is why I knew we were smart never to get married, this is why I told you never to get rid of your house!" She grabbed his shirt and threw it at his face. He caught it, throwing it behind him in an annoyed move. "Somewhere inside, I knew this about you!"

Peter rubbed his hands over his face exasperatedly, before following her into the room as she began gathering more of his stupid stuff. "Okay, first of all; can you please calm down? Because I did not sleep with her!" Then he went with the low road. "Secondly, we've had problems for over a year. I know you don't want to deal with that, but we have..."

She growled. "Oh, I'm well aware we've had problems for the last year, because if I work a _little_ bit too much, I never stop hearing about it." She had the worst urge to tear his throat out as she grabbed his sheet music. "But if you work too much, _maestro_, it's for the sake of your music."

He started laughing, but stopped when he saw her glance over with a murderous look. "_If_ you work too much? Ruby, you've cut 75 trailers this year, there's a freaking cutting room in the basement and you practically sleep with your iPhone! I'm not even going to talk with you about the sex, because I can't remember the last time we did it!"

Ruby rolled her eyes, huffing impatiently. "Oh come on, no one has time for sex!" Seriously, in this busy world, who did?

Peter bit his lip. "That's not exactly true."

It took about .2 seconds for that to sink in and then Ruby's anger burst. She threw his music sheets in his arms and yelled, "Oh, you absolutely slept with her! Seriously, you have to get out!" She pushed him out of the bedroom before leading him to the hall. He was sighing and pleading the entire time, but Ruby just talked right through him. "You know what, I don't think you ever really loved me! Hmm? How's that?"

"Ruby, come on!"

"No, I think you loved the idea of you and me, but not so much me. Not really!" She threw his stuff in his arms and opened the door for him.

Peter groaned, scratching his neck uncomfortably, and Ruby saw it as a sign that he was in fact lying. "Ruby, give me a break, I did the best I could! Is anyone good enough for that job?!"

She grabbed his keys from the cabinet and threw them in his hand. "I will send you your things!" she hissed, pointing at the hole of the door. She gave up, she was done with him, she didn't want this toxic relationship anymore. This was the best decision she could have made, she was already feeling the weight of it slipping off her shoulders.

Groaning, Peter walked out of the door. "You know you do this, right? You screw up _every_ relationship you're in. _It__'__s what you do_." He smiled, seemingly satisfied with his jest, but his smile disappeared when she narrowed her eyes at him and then slammed the door right in his face. She bolted up the stairs, hoping to get away from him, because dear God, he was going to be the death of her and not in a good way. "_You never wanted to be a couple! That stupid charade of yours, __'__Wolf Girl__'__, it__'__s what__'__s keeping you from letting anyone in! You push them away! And it__'__s so fucking hard to detect how you even do it, because nobody is quite as smart as you_!" Ruby was astounded. She'd never known he could sink so low. She rushed to the bedroom where she heard him yell, "_But you always do it, and this is what happens_!"

In a fit of rage, she threw open the doors to the balcony. "What happens, Peter? Do enlighten me as to what happens."

He let his things drop to the floor and took a step back to look up to her. His eyes were shining bright with adrenaline and some kind of fear. Pearls of sweat were on his forehead. "Things end, and you damn well knew they would! You know how I feel about you, there's no one like you. You just don't wanna be what I need!" He caught himself too late, and a flash of fear was visible on his face. She damn near growled at him. "Well, not what I 'need', but...I mean, you know what I mean..."

She shook her head. "You know, I would _never_ cheat on you, under _any _condition."

"Well, neither would _I_! Look at me, I'm down here sweating like a pig and look at you!" He was gesturing wildly with his arms, something Ruby recognized as a sign of desperation.

She narrowed his eyes at him. "What is it with me?"

"Well, you're standing up there, breaking up with your boyfriend and you don't even shed a tear? No, you just get angry. That's gotta mean something, right?" He looked up at her, and Ruby could see the irony of the situation. She remembered Peter standing down there with a boom box, asking her out while Simple Minds belted out 'Don't You (Forget About Me)'. It was one of the best days of her life. And now they were here, at the end of the line. Same position, opposite situation.

"I can't believe it's still bugging you that when I get upset, I get angry instead of cry. Do you like me weak, Peter?" she snarled.

"Don't be ridiculous, Ruby!" Peter wiped his brow with trembling fingers.

Ruby opened her mouth, but just then the shivers and the headache began. She grabbed hold of the railing on the balcony and closed her eyes to wait to the episode to pass. She always got those when her anger got too out of control. "Hang on. It's okay, I'll be alright." she said, when she opened her eyes and saw him looking at her worried.

"Yeah, I know, I was thinking about me."

Ruby rolled her eyes. Of course he was. It didn't even surprise her anymore. As her headache subsided, she shot a murderous look at him. "Look, Peter, it's _over_. Let's just be honest with each other, for once. Just...put me out of my misery." He glanced down as he sighed. "Did you sleep with her? I mean, what are we even doing – "

"Okay!" Peter exclaimed, exasperated. Ruby felt a sting in her gut. "Okay, yes. Okay? I slept with her. Are you happy? I've been sleeping with her, she's in love with me. I mean, she's young!" He rubbed his face. "This is not a proud moment for me, you should just know that."

Ruby shook her head. "Why? Because you cheated on me, or because you got caught?" Without another word, she went inside, slamming the doors. She stopped dead in her tracks, letting his words sink in and gasping as she realized what he'd said to her. She stormed outside, flinging the front door open just as he was picking up his sport shirt. "Did you just say, am I happy?"

"Oh Ruby, that's not what I meant, you drive me nuts sometimes, I say things I don't mean!"

She shook her head again. "You know what, in the world of love, _not_ that I'm such an expert, but in the world of love, cheating is just unacceptable!"

"Okay, no matter what you think, this is not just my fault, you know!" he shouted at her in a mean voice.

"Are you saying this is my fault?!"

"Yes! And when you're not in such a rage, you will see that, too."

Ruby pushed him away and sneered. "Of course! Maybe when I stop having visions of you two together, I will see your side!" She turned around, but had an urge to satisfy. She whirled around and punched him square in the nose.

"Oh, come on!" he began, but she punched him again, and this time he went down. She'd never felt so vengeful as she marched back into the house and shut the door on him. For good this time. She was slowly freaking out while she rubbed her knuckles. They were burning with the ache of punching Peter in the face. She paced up and down the hall.

"I can't believe this is happening." she murmured. "What am I gonna do?"

A cough interrupted her thoughts, and she turned around. She saw Nova standing in the doorway, with a notepad in her hands. "Is this a bad time?" she asked.

Ruby stared at her co-worker for a moment, before realizing that yes, her life was moving on. She straightened out her hair, took a deep breath and forced a smile up on her face. "Yes. I'm just freaking out a bit. But you know what, I'm okay. Hi." she said to Nova. "What's up?"

Turned out it was another trailer, done. In the basement, in her cutting rooms she watched as a beautifully cut trailer for a new movie 'Red Riding Hood', starring her friend Killian Jones – incidentally also the person who scored this movie – and some bimbo she didn't know before this trailer. Some Milah...they were together now.

Anyway, she smiled when a wolf's jaws seemed to close around the camera and the screen went black. "That's amazing!" she said appreciatively. "Well done, Leroy."

Leroy turned around, with a grin on his face. "Yes, it is. But you thought it out perfectly. I just put it in order."

"I just want the words 'Red Riding Hood' a little bit more red. Make it dripping with blood. It's not the fairy tale, it's a horror movie. A good one. I want it to give it that vibe."

Leroy nodded, writing it down. "It's done. This is why they pay you the big bucks, Ruby, amazing."

Ruby grinned wolfishly, before the reality sank in again. Peter was gone. It was Christmas and she would be alone. She needed to get out of this house, it felt like it was smothering her. "Hey, it's Christmas Holiday. Let's just...take off for a few weeks."

Leroy burst out in laughter and Nova giggled. "Yeah, sure." Leroy grumbled with laughter.

"No, I'm serious."

Nova frowned deeply, looking at Ruby in wonder. "You're always saying that this is our busiest time, we can't just...take a holiday."

"Yes, we can. I want a holiday, I _need _a holiday. I need some peace and quiet...or whatever it is people go away for." She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "No, you know what I want? I want to eat carbs without wanting to kill myself. I want to read a book – not a magazine, an actual book." She saw her co-workers look at her in absolute shock, and she knew why. This wasn't like her, she _never_ took a holiday. But a dread was coming over her, a dread she couldn't push away. She had to get out of town for a bit. "Did you read that article in the New York Times yesterday? Severe stress makes woman age prematurely, because stress causes the DNA in our cells to shrink until they can no longer replicate. So when we're stressed, we look haggard." She saw Leroy looking at her sceptically. "This is just women, not men." She was ranting on and on, and she couldn't stop herself, not yet.

"Sorry." Leroy grumbled.

"So with all the stress in our lives, we continue to look haggared! Meanwhile Peter will look handsome forever fucking his 21 year old receptionist! GOD!" She covered her mouth with her fist, stopping herself mid-rant. She was at the end of her energy reserves, and she _knew_, she was sure, she _had_ to get out. Now. "See what I mean? I need a vacation." She turned off all the equipment. "I'm taking two weeks off. Congratulation, you have two weeks of unexpected holiday."

She left the basement with a sigh, already feeling the weight of her stress lessen. A holiday would make her feel better, after this nonsense with Peter. She took her place behind her computer and stared at the screen for a moment. "Okay, where do I want to go? By myself with Christmas?" The reality sunk deeper, a sadness overcoming her that she hadn't known in a very long time. "Alone...totally alone." She buried her face in her hands and tried to cry. Tried, but failed, just as she always did. She'd tried everything. Sad movies (they disgusted her) , horror movies (they always made her laugh, so that was no good), she bought books with reviews that made Peter tear up (never read them), tried remembering what happened in her past (bad idea, Peter had woken up to a destroyed living room)...everything she tried failed. She just couldn't cry, just like now.

After ten minutes of trying to force a tear, she took a deep breath and moved on. She started surfing the net for all her worth. She found adrenaline vacations, as if she needed more of that, 'worry-free' vacations, all kinds but none to her liking. Until she arrived at a site that she clicked by accident. The name peaked her interest. "Vacation rentals." She bit her lip as she read the general idea of this kind of a vacation. "I could do that. Hole up in a house somewhere, disappear for a few weeks." She brought her thumb to her mouth and sucked on the tip, something she tended to do when nervous or excited. She clicked through to 'find a rental'. "Okay, where do I want to go? Well, where do they speak English?" She grinned. "Why not, the UK might do. It's far away enough."

The link brought her to a few cities where there were rentals available and she started clicking randomly. The first few had good descriptions, but horrible houses, most of them resembling the houses in the Valley.

Until she found a house in Surrey, a lovely little white cottage that looked like it came right from a fairy tale. She read the description, which brought a relaxed smile on her face. _Christmas in the country. A fairy-tale English cottage set up in a peaceful country garden. Snuggle up near a stone fireplace and enjoy some hot cocoa. A magical oasis of peace just forty minutes from exciting London._ "Yeah." Ruby said. This sounded perfect. "Though you don't sound English to me." she said randomly to the owner on the other side of the pacific. The words were wrong, American, not British. "Okay, what's next? Ah, _contact the owner_." She quickly made an account for herself and then a chat with the owner called Emma opened.

Ruby's fingers hovered over the keyboard for just a moment, before she pushed her doubts aside and started typing her message.

_RedRuby: I am interested in renting your house._

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_**Reviews feed my muse, and my muse needs feeding. If you could take a moment, it'd make my day!**_


	4. Journey

**Hello, and yes, I am still here! I am just trying to finish this story before I publish the story, but I also don't want to leave you guys hanging. Honestly, I am not leaving this story! I've got almost 8 chapters written down, so I'm not done yet!**

**Back to business!**

**HAPPY FREAKING NEW YEAR and may it be a better year for the world eh?**

**Onwards with the story, from Emma's perspective this time!**

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**Chapter 3  
Journey**

Emma was a wreck.

She wasn't often. It wasn't often that she succumbed to her emotions like this, but it was almost Christmas, she was alone and Neal had once again broken her heart.

She was so stupid. Stupid for hoping he'd see the light, stupid for still loving him after all these years, stupid for not seeing that Neal had long since moved on with Tamara. She'd been blind, so blind. Her own story of the day came back to haunt her. Love was indeed blind. She knew that. And yet, she let it blind her. What happened to her control freakiness? Why was she not in control of anything in her life right now?

(Deep down, she knew that she'd never been in control of her life. Other people had always made decisions for her. Her parents giving her up. Neal pushing her away. Her foster families sending her away. It had never been a decision on her part.)

Crying, Emma threw some food for Snowy the cat in her bowl (who first rubbed her head against Emma's leg in comfort before attacking her food) and turned on the gas to make herself some hot chocolate, but stopped what she was doing the moment she heard the gas flow out of the furnace and into the open air. It could be over in a few minutes. No more pain. No more suffering. No more _Neal_. She blew out the match that was slowly burning to its end, and she bend over slowly, feeling the gas enter her nose. _It__'__ll be over soon_...

_Pling_.

Her eyes snapped open as the sound of her computer jerked her back to reality. With a gasp, she scrambled to put the gas out and stumbled to open a window. _What in the fucking hell was she doing?!_ Had Neal pushed her down so low that she was willing to die because of him? No fucking way, no way she was going to let Neal decide her fate! She slapped her face twice, before setting out to do what she wanted to in the first place. Make cocoa.

_Pling. Pling._

Right, her computer. Thank God for whatever made her computer make a sound. She'd be dead if it hadn't. She sat down at her table, looking at what made her computer made the lifesaving noise. It was from the Vacation Rentals site; she'd received a new message. She clicked it open and read the message.

_RedRuby: I__'__m interested in renting your house.  
RedRuby: I__'__m wondering if your house is still for rent this Christmas, because if it is, you could be a real life saver.  
RedRuby: I know it__'__s ridiculously late to be asking you this, but if you__'__re at all interested, please contact me._

Emma stared at the screen for a moment, not believing this. This had to be a sign. If this 'RedRuby' would be interested in Emma's proposition, she'd be free from this place for a few weeks. She'd be free from Neal.

She scrambled to sit down behind her laptop, her heart pounding in her throat with excitement.

_WhiteSwan: I__'__m very interested, but my house is really only available for home exchange._

Emma stared at the screen as she watched RedRuby type.

_RedRuby: Home exchange, what is that?_

Emma rushed to answer. This was her ticket out.

_WhiteSwan: We switch houses, cars, everything. I haven__'__t done it before but friends of mine have._

It stayed quiet for a while after that, as if RedRuby was discussing this with someone. Emma grew restless, and she decided to remedy that herself.

_WhiteSwan: Where are you?_

"Please say somewhere far away." Emma begged silently.

The answer came immediately.

_RedRuby: LA_

"LA?!" Emma exclaimed loudly (Snowy shot under the couch, hissing) before all her tears instantly vanished. That sounded perfect.

_WhiteSwan: Never been there, but I always wanted to go. I__'__m Emma, by the way. I__'__m very normal, control freak, non-smoker, single._

That last part made her cry a bit again, but she recovered quickly.

_RedRuby: I__'__m Ruby, but everyone calls me Wolf Girl behind my back._

Emma smiled as she typed a quick 'hi', and Ruby responded in kind with a smiley face. Then it was quiet for a moment.

_RedRuby: typing...  
RedRuby: I must say, your house looks idyllic._

Emma's face split into a grin.

_WhiteSwan: Really? What does your house look like?  
RedRuby: It__'__s nice, but somewhat bigger than yours.  
WhiteSwan: Not hard to be. __J_

She chuckled as she typed. Her bad mood was gone, replaced with hope and happiness. This woman, whose name was most likely Ruby, was very kind to her. It was silent for a long time, until she saw Ruby typing again. She hoped to God Ruby would accept this.

_RedRuby: One question though...  
WhiteSwan: Shoot.  
RedRuby: Are there any men in your town?_

Emma thought for a second, remembering Neal, but he lived in London. And Victor...well, he wouldn't show his face for some time here. She typed her reply quickly.

_WhiteSwan: None._

Not a second later, Ruby's reply was there, filling Emma's heart with joy.

_RedRuby: When can I come?_

Emma had to read it twice over before she fully understood the gravity. She was going to LA, away from her awful life for a while, away from Neal, away from everything in this life. She was going home.

She had no idea how she had ended up here in the UK with the foster system. She was born in Maine, in the United States. At the age of six, the Whale family found her in a foster house that they visited to donate something to it. They asked if she wanted to come with them to see the UK. Their son was kind to her, played hide-and-seek and tag with her. He even helped her with her writing. After two days spent with them, she'd known she wanted to come with. The foster system made a small fuss about it, but a week later, she was seated with all her prized possessions next to Victor. He'd brought a deck of cards and taught her how to poker all the way here. She loved Victor from the first day, just like he loved her. Their relationship was strong. Her life was good after that.

She returned to the now with a smile on her face. She loved Victor, and his parents, and they'd always supported her. She knew they would be happy to hear she was giving herself a change of scenery.

_WhiteSwan: Tomorrow too soon?_

_RedRuby: typing...  
RedRuby: Tomorrow__'__s perfect!_

Emma started grinning madly, as her mind reeled with planning. What to take, how to manage a ticket, how to do all this. She planned all night together with Ruby (on the phone this time, Ruby sounded really lovely), bought a last-minute ticket and packed her backs for _two whole weeks_. She called Victor, but he didn't pick up. Well, she'd call him from LA. She called her boss, and told him she was going to take a two week holiday. It didn't take much to convince him.

At 7 AM, Emma made her way into the plane that would be bringing her to her home country. She barely even remembered it and she was buzzing with excitement. She placed her bag in front of her and looked out the window at the ground personnel loading up the baggage and arranging the final things before take-off. Nerves were coiling in the pit of her stomach. She was so ready for this, to be away from England and, more importantly, _Neal_. She smiled at the two elderly women sitting down next to her, just as her phone bleeped. With a smile, she looked down at it. The message made her heart sink and her smile falter.

Neal.

_Hi Duckling!  
Heard you were going to the City of Angels. First holiday in three years, congratulations! How do I reach you?  
Neal_

Emma felt tears sting behind her eyes. Of course he had to come in and try to fuck up her holiday. With a deep sigh, she started typing her reply, as silent tears ran over her cheeks. She was ending an era, and though she knew it was best for her, it still hurt.

_Neal,  
We both know I need to fall out of love with you.  
Would be nice if you let me try._

She sent it, and then turned her phone off for the flight. It took her the entire take-off and a good hour of sustained flight to get her mind off Neal, but when she finally managed that...she felt so free. The women next to her were chatting happily, but she'd put her headphones on before they could pull her into a conversation and now Emma was staring out the window, watching the ocean shimmer miles below her and white clouds rush by like pillows. She wondered what it would be like to live on a cloud. What kind of life would that be, where everything is only fifty shades of white, where everything is soft? With a smirk, she took her notebook and lucky pen to write down the idea that had formed in her head. One day, she was going to publish something. Then she'd be away from that stupid writers' magazine she worked at now, and she could live her days in her cottage, just writing and living. It had been her biggest dream ever since she was a little girl and she first read a really good book that Victor had given to her when she first came to England. Become a writer, do whatever she liked the entire day. No one to control her. It was her own personal heaven.

Ten hours literally flew by and Emma was startled awake by a popping in her ears. She took off her headphones just in time to hear the pilot announce that they had started their descent to the city of angels. Emma looked out the window, immediately wide awake with excitement. The city was already awake, its streets swarmed with gleaming cars in the bright sunlight. That's right, it was a completely different climate here. No snow. Christmas suddenly got a really great summer touch to it, and Emma loved every second of it.

Another forty minutes later, she was in the cab, wishing she had more eyes to take in everything she saw. The palm trees, the deep blue sea, the sheer happiness that it all brought. She awed at it, awed at the perfect peace she felt. That had been a very, _very_ long time coming, that peace. Emma was so happy at that moment, that she thought she couldn't become happier.

She was wrong.

When the taxi dropped her off in front of the gate, she was overcome with happiness and above that, disbelief. It was huge. And with huge she meant freaking enormous. It was like all the other houses here, but it was bigger than she ever dared to dream. The gate opened for her with the code that Ruby had texted her and she advanced slowly, admiring everything. There was a beautiful apple tree, and pine trees and palm trees all in one front garden, their leaves and fruits waving in the strong, warm wind.

When she opened the door with the key from under the doormat, she could no longer contain herself. She dropped her bags on the floor in the hallway, swung the door closed and started exploring the immense house. Everything was so disproportionally expensive that it made her extremely excited and happy. Yelling out her surprise at every door she opened, she rushed through the house.

There was an entire gym in one room, a study, a _freaking swimming pool outside. _The TV room stopped her in her tracks for a moment and she stared at the intense setting of a huge screen and at least three different appliances with over a hundred buttons. She backed out of the room carefully, absentmindedly worrying about how she was going to handle that when she wanted to watch a bit of television.

After she'd marvelled at the second study, she turned and saw another room, the door open and an immense, incredibly comfortable-looking bed. Squealing like a little girl, she threw herself at the room and jumped into the bed. She sunk into the bed, the soft feathers encasing her. She noticed that the mattress wasn't just a mattress. It wasn't an ordinary bed, this was a water bed!

Emma sat up and shrugged her coat off, throwing it over the chair next to the bed and she smiled happily, almost dreamily. This was her fresh start. This was what she had been waiting for, for three years. Here she could move on.

She closed her eyes and curled up on herself, her body giving into the sleep that was still fighting with her.

She wondered how Ruby was doing right now...

* * *

_**Reviews feed my muse, and my muse is a hungry lass. If you could take a moment, it'd make my day!**_


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